Evaluation of dawncrescent's Rough Draft by lightfoot
I think this paper needs a clear statement of its objectives or elaboration of the thesis at the outset to lend it a sense of purpose. While interesting enough, the paper seems to lack a logical flow of ideas. Instead, the information and assertions at the end of the paper "tie it together." Ideally, the reader would understand the pertinence of the material discussed in the paper throughout, not realize it at the end.
This paper suffers from grammatical errors and lacks the prescribed writing style characterisitic of a research paper. I would recommend a through proofreading session. Observe this passage: "The most prior one of the principles is 'adhering to China Communist Party’s leadership position.' It is an obvious self-contradictory. If it is true that all power in the People‘sRepublic of China belongs to the people, then why should the people be asked to be adhered to something?" Be careful in areas like subject-verb agreement, usage, and spelling throught the paper. Do not use 'politic' when you mean 'political.' Try to use language where the meaning is clear instead of using more sophisticated language poorly.
Another aspect where the paper could stand improvement is adequate research and documentation. Many of the assertions in the paper are in desperate need of authentication. It is not appropriate in a research paper to make prosaic statements and leave them wholly unsupported. For example, "The United States should definitely be universally considered as the nation of the highest degree of democratization; and the United States deserves it." and "As early as in the late 19th century, Sun, Wen tried to introduce the American democratic ideas to Chinese people, the "do-nothing-but waiting" nation." are statements that are in need of some research to make them more credible. To introduce a statement such as this: "As for morality, no one nation in the world is adequate to be a model of morality to other nations because of the lack of a common standard of morality." as your closing sentence is inappropriate for a research paper. If this is a main idea, it should be stated earlier and revisited at the conclusion.
Research more and try to improve the structure of your paper. You have some compelling ideas - enjoyed reading it. Good luck.
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