Evaluation of sobek18's Rough Draft by lightfoot
Congratulations on writing an excellent paper. I have a few minor suggestions for your consideration. Initially, you make this statement: "Title IX mostly deals with issues relating to athletics in high school and college level schools." Later in the paper, you note that Title IX also pertains to the academic arena. In actuality, Title IX deals with both of these issues; the athletics simply gets all of the publicity. I realize this is a minor semantics issue - just a thought.
Also, I commend you on using data to support your assertions about male athletic programs being cut. However, I would inquire as to the correlation between the loss of male athletic programs and Title IX and would consequently question the validity of the statistics. It may seem self-evident that male programs would decline and females would increase after Title IX, but I, for one, remain unconvinced. Female academics, athletics, employment, and many other things have all been on the rise since the advent of Title IX. It is only natural that these numbers will increase. Also, I find it difficult to believe that these male programs have actually been "lost"; how many have been added in the meantime? Have we really experienced a net loss of male athletic programs in the last 3 decades, a time of prodigious growth in the U.S.? Statistics can be so very misleading that I am forced to question yours even though the data may well be legitimate. If at all possible, I would recommend that you attempt to further authenticate your data in the context of your contentions. Make your argument airtight. Otherwise, you leave room for skeptics like myself to doubt you. If you are able to strengthen this argument, the paper will really become an exemplary one.
I also have an issue with your interpretation of Title IX. As I understand it, the law never stipluates that male and female programs must be proportionally equal, only that they are equal in accordance with the interest demonstrated in the sport. "Although there are some females that do participate, the number of males who desire to participate will always tremendously outnumber the number of females willing to do so. By the law, however, it does not matter, so male athletic programs will continue to be cut, because schools have no other choice." I think this statement from your paper is fundamentally flawed. With a little more research, you stand to make your paper really awesome. Sorry to criticize an otherwise good paper. Best of luck.
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