You make some good points, but it definately has to be longer (as you know). Be careful of sentence structure, a couple of them sound a little clunky. I would also suggest bringing up a few more points, because I don't know how long you can go on talking about taxes. If you can make it work, just ignore that. Overall I would say it's pretty good, but it's hard to say much more about it because the draft is so short. On that same note, your ideas are good and it sounds like you know what direction you're going with the paper.