Evaluation of ThePanda
Your paper is structured well and backs up your position, but there are a few things you might wish to consider. First, you state that a vehicle's registration tax should be inversely proportional to the vehicle's gas mileage. I belive that you mean the registration tax should be directly related to the vehicle's gas mileage (the higher the mileage, the greater the tax). When you say it should be inversly proportional, you are stating that as the gas mileage of a vehicle increases, the regitration tax should decrease. By using the word 'inversely' instead of 'directly,' your position and your paper are ambiguous. Also, you need details and sources, without these, your argument has no foundation. For example, you state, "It is easy to see that the health of the environment is steadily decreasing," but there is no evidence, or facts from reliable sources, that your claims are true. Maybe search the EPA's website to find facts to back up your claims; this will give your argument much more crediblility.
Evaluation of 'Title IX and its Benefits' by UncleSam
Your paper is good. You effectively establish support for your argument through telling the history of Title IX and cases dealing with Title IX, and you give cite your sources well. One thing you may wish to provide more support for is your claim that '[Title IX] is beneficial.' You do not provide examples of how people have benefitted from Title IX. You do a good job of stating the title's purpose and history but provide no direct evidence showing the benefits (or specific cases where females have prospered because of the passing of Title IX) of the amendment; I belive if you do so, your argument will be more convincing.
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- ThePanda last edited on 11 June 2005 at 10:07 am by aforte
- moto1 last edited on 20 April 2005 at 12:07 am by moto1
- Edit Critique last edited on 7 April 2005 at 9:56 pm by moto1