Scharnhorst's Evaluations of Other Papers
While you do seem fairly persuasive in depicting how the prisoners are being treated well, it seems unscholarly to refer to known terrorists as the "friends" of the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay, when you have no proof of that or a source to back up the claim. Every fact you present should have a source accompanying it. I know you still have some time to fix it but I would definitely take care of that before you submit your final paper to Dr. Barke. I would also delete the attack on liberals as it makes your paper seem less academic than it should be. While that may fly on a newscast or in an editorial, this is a research paper. If you have to, atleast find the transcript of a known liberal like Michael Moore making the statements you accuse them of. It shouldn't take you long to find one, lol. You also say:
"the leaders in the United States have made it clear that they condone these actions" when you really mean they don't condone them.
Overall, it's a good paper but some sources being listed is a must. You say none of the prisoners are US citizens and that may be true, but I personally didnt know that and would like verification from a source you list. Dr. Barke will demand it.
Once again we run into the problem of not listing sources for some of the information you're offering as fact, but that is easily rectified. I would offer ONE criticism, however, and that is your distinct lack of using current events in your article, most notably Vioxx recently being pulled off the shelves. That will be freshest in the minds of those who read your paper and you should offer some sort of defense to the company, or a solution to keep this from happening in the future. It's hard to apologize for pharmaceautical companies and argue for even hastier approvals of drugs in the wake of such news, and you certainly just can't ignore it.
Very good paper! It gave me a lot of new information and viewpoints I had never considered. I love that! Every fact is accounted for with a source as well.
I can offer no valid criticisms of this paper.
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- Scharnhorst last edited on 17 April 2005 at 7:33 pm by Scharnhorst