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I've got to say, this is a really good paper. I'm having a hard time finding anything constructive to say to help you out. You've done a good job making all your points clearly and they seems to be well-backed by the facts and statistics you bring up. I think using this quote by Benjamin Franklin in somewhere in the beginning might help drive your point home even further "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." For conservatives that think people's liberties can be screwed with just because it's war time... - Lou_Dog


It seems that there was a thorough study prior to writing this paper. The introduction reminds me of my introduction to my position paper. The focus on this paper seems to be based on recent events. Are there events prior to 2001? Did the U.S. treat foreign nationals differently prior to 2001? I like the stand on your position paper. However; you may want to show a counter opinion. By doing this, you position may sound stronger. The paper seems strong and logical. My suggestions would only make your paper stronger. - taquito


Your paper is good. Maybe there should be a little more acknowledgement of the other side. This will limit the critisisms that people may have of your paper. I like the way you concluded your paper with that quote. I might change: "What is in effect happening is that the foreign nationals residing within this country..." To "Effectivley what is happening... " or something like that. That sentence just seemed a little shaky grammatically. - light_switch


I believe your paper is strong and you line of logic flows very well. But instead telling you what everyone else will and about what you did well i think you can strengthen your argument in many ways. One would be to play the devil's advocate a little so that you can prove your argument better. Also the grammatical flow could be improved in many sentences. Try not to make them so chopy. Otherwise this is a good start.- HerbyHancock

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