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JoeCool's comments

You have a good basic outline for your paper, but it doesn't have much meat in it.
For instance, many of the sentences cram two or three ideas all together that need to each be explained
individually. You have plently of room for fleshing it out (which I'm sure you were planning to do anyway)
since it needs to end up being at least 1200 words. A few other small things: about 3/4 through the paper you put
"though" when you meant "through." And at the end of the paper, you abruptly throw out all these numbers with
absolutely no explanation. I would expand that whole section of your paper into a paragraph or two
and explain where the money is going. It should be a very good paper once fully fleshed out. JoeCool

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