evaluations of spearmint's statements
Edit evaluations of spearmint's statements here.
Contributed by Turbo593:
I think that your opening paragraph was very well written and immediately got to the point. You made strong references to the Constitution and also used them pretty well to make your point. You do have a few small grammatical errors such as missing words (for example: “One focus of this issue is how many of the rights guaranteed to united states citizens carry over to foreign nationals”). After you mention the Geneva Convention, in your fourth paragraph you say, “some government policy reflects the belief that foreign nationals should be treated as citizens or prisoners of war”. Are you saying that foreign nationals should be treated as prisoners of war, or do you mean as citizens of their respective countries, or as American citizens are treated? It’s a little confusing and I don’t think your point really comes out; just a thought. I also believe you paper is a little short so you might think about going into some details about how the current administration is defending its actions, and then shoot down those ideas; just an idea. Also in your closing you say that the government has a responsibility to it citizens by quoting the Constitution, “The enumeration in the constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.” I’m not really sure the reader would know what you mean by this, so maybe you could expand on it a little and make your idea clearer. Overall it’s a fine paper and you make excellent use of the Constitution, I’m sure you can take of the grammar with a quick proofread, and reword some of your ideas quite easily. I also think the professor asked us to proide an expanded list of our resources at the end of the paper, so you may want to add that.
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