COMMENTS ON THIS ESSAY HERE!
This Evaluation is by Hondezy:
I think the intro is a little lengthy and can be broken into two paragraphs. Maybe focuse on rights in one half and the type of war in the other half. Paragraph 2 you said Giving as the first word. Who is giving? Maybe say, The Us Government assuming the right.... a side note...Although your paper might be right, does a citizen of another country have constitutional rights? Does a south african wake up and say i have rights over in that country called the US because of Their constitution? just a thought.. paragraph 3: Yet to sacrifice equality over order is extreme an unnecessary. That sentence is a bad fragment and makes no sense. I don't support your view on this, but make sure in paragraph 3 that you are not straying from your view, you gave a lot of support for what bush is doing and the power that was given to him by congress. Make sure you are still fighting your agenda and not letting the reader think otherwise. Again at the end of the 4th paragraph the 3rd and 4th to last sentence seem to be disproving your point. You seem to say it was made to be changed, yet what you are fighting for in the essay is that it shouldn't change. Overall good essay, just try to only fight for your argument.