rough draft by deez913
Achievement through Earning Distinguishment
Each year scholarships are awarded on basis of need or merit depending on the type of scholarship and situation of recipient. Georgia Tech, like all public institutions have been forced into admitting certain students and meeting particular quotos. Government is inch by inch moving into the jurisdiction that was once operated by the institution. These imposed regulations force universities and colleges to take actions that oppose the values and or traditions of the unversity. Many of the mandated requirements lead to implementing need based scholarships more than would be used without the mandates. An example of a requirement of universities is affirmitive action. Although affirmitive action has positive effects by offering the chance for minorities to recieve post-secondary education, there are also negative consequences as well. To meet quotas universities are often left with no choice but to give need based scholarships to minorities that would other wise not be able to afford a college education. The incapability of poorer minorities to reach financial standards is a heavy price to pay and a large weight on whether or not scholarships should be need based, but in the larger scheme merit based scholarships are more beneficial to society and more appropriate for the advancement of society.
A merit based scholarship is motivation for one to put fort effort and prepare themself for the future. merit based scholarships will drive one to strive for excellence and perfect a specific area. Society will benefit from individuals who are skilled in a specific area and capable of reaching a threshold that distingiushes them in their specific area. To earn a scholarship by trade, one must be disciplined, hard working and carpable of success, all traits needed for a college student and type of person who would use a college degree in today's society.
The downfalls of giving need based scolarships are the inflation of college tuition for students that do not receive scholarship at all and the obligation for one to attend college. The later conflict is of much greater concern and creates a more serious issue in the decision of type of scholarships. The need based scholarship program encourages all people to attend college when it is not in the best interest for all people nor for society. The idea that everyone can go to college, implies that every should go to college. In this case, the value of a college education is decreased and dreams that do not involve a college education are repressed.
I'm not sure that you were trying to insult minorities, but as I represent one, I felt that you did. The first paragraph presents minorities as the bad guys. For example, your statement: "The incapability of poorer minorities to reach financial standards is a heavy price to pay and a large weight on whether or not scholarships should be need based, but in the larger scheme merit based scholarships are more beneficial to society and more appropriate for the advancement of society." I must say there are some non-minoritiy members who are also poor. There are some white males who could benefit from need-based scholarships. I think if you could reword much of the first paragraph, your argument could be made stronger. I think I see where you were going with the subject, but your first paragraph (to me) was offensive and, therfore, hurt the rest of your argument since I could not "get past" the first paragraph. Maybe try to make your tone less offensive. –contributed by Nichi
I am affraid that I aggree with Nichi. It is clear that you are insulting minorities. You need to carefully chose your words (or you just can help ti). And, for your information, not all minorities can't afford college education. –contributed by Azigiza
Maybe to avoid insulting anyone in the class reading your paper, you should strengthen the part of your paper that points the finger at the governments control of the university. You could make them look more like the "bad guys", as opposed to the minorities that are recieving the scholorships. I like that you are arguing for "survival of the fittest", and I think you should continue to make points about that, including the question- at what point do we think that the playing field is even, and we can do away with programs such as Affirmative Action? I believe that point has already been reached. I would also think about showing examples of ways scholorships that apply to every race are working efficiently–such as the Hope Scholorship. I think comparing to existing programs will be more persuasive than just opinion alone.–contributed by ParrotHead
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