Miscellaneous Golden Moments

Miscellaneous Golden Moments


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For the uninitiated, "Golden Moments" are the Let's Try This! version of Kodak Moments...only you can't get these on CDs yet. Whenever a line comes up that epitomizes why we love improv, we write it down (or, failing that, repeat it over and over again until we've memorized it). Below, you'll find just a smattering of these Golden Moments. For more–as we've said before and will say again–come to one of our shows. Or, if you want some Golden Moments of your own, attend a workshop. Or, if you can't come to our shows due to circumstances beyond your control (e.g. living out of state, being quadriplegic, etc.), then go to an improv show in your area. We're not elitist.)

During a Game of "A To Z":

Mike:You'd do that for me?
John:Zo right ahead!

Adam:Unless I miss my mark, we're going to make a great couple!
Nate:Vavushka!

During a Game of "Three-Way Dub":

Nate, speaking for Kiki: We can send a test e-mail saying 'Hi!' or 'YOU ATE MY GOLDFISH, YOU STUPID FUCK!'
Mike, speaking for Nate:Always a classic.

During a Game of "World's Worst":

WORLD'S WORST BIRTHDAY PRESENT:
Matt:You're telling me you didn't like the board game I gave you: the Game of Death?!
John:No!
Mike(in squeaky voice):I won!

WORLD'S WORST VIDEO ARCADE:
Tony:Hmm. "France France Revolution: please insert head". .. okay!

During a Game of "Three Through The Door":

Gavin the Receptionist:I'm sorry, Sir, the Trail of Tears is full. But please, take this complimentary blanket.

During a Game of "Happy Noodle Boy":

Mike:No wonder you fell down; it's a left-handed floor!

Kit: There's no biznatch like show biznatch.

During a Game of "Interrogation":

Nate the cop:Do you think he's happy?
Matt the murder suspect:It depends; did he go to Heaven or Hell?
Nate the cop:I...think that's irrelevant right now!

During a Game of "Character Magnification":

Gavin, Envy:I'm not published. How can you get published without even using apostrophes?!
Amy, Happy:I make the right people happy.

Random Scene Lines

Mike:That's right! Sadness (R)! If you don't buy it...you'll...be happy.

Luthor: Don't you think that if they were advertising designer ferrets, they'd put them on billboards?

Nate:All I have is love!
Gavin:Look, this is France, but not that kind of France!

Gavin:Now, when you mix white sugar and brown sugar, you get tan sugar, which is the angriest sugar you've ever seen!

Benji, while stuck in an elevator:Listen, do you still have the screwdriver I gave you for your birthday?
Chris Holmes:Dude, I drank it!

Mike, selling guns:You just keep upping it. Do you have a daughter too? 'Cause if you've got a daughter I'll sell you bullets!

Grieving father:Well, I still love him.
His wife:Man, 'loved'! Past tense. Come on. Please.

Gavin:Oh, I see! ...And how much memory does yeast take up?

Ryan, at the International Bake-Off:And here we see the Civil War Bread is looking...oh no; they forgot the yeast. Looks like the South won't rise again after all.

John:Torkmada, I know you've lived in 14th Century Spain all your life, but you've got to get with the times!

Luther:I wonder if we can falafel a waitress over here.

Jeff:But if you died... you'd be dead!

Ryan:Jesus! Fix my frogger machine!

Mike:The strangest thing happened. My wife came, actually!

Golden Moments Offstage

Kiki, responding to Matt's combining 'A to Z' with Transportation:I hope your dick falls off by the way.
Matt:Okay, start with 'Y'.

Mike and Kit:It's a nosedive into Scatologyland that pulls up and smashes into the Cliffs of There.

Andy:Physics says no...
Mike:...Japan says yes!

Bryan, about Adam:Aw, he's fine.
Adam:Ohhhhhh yeaaaaaahhhh!

Ryan:Now remember, time is completely...temporal.

Dan (laughing):I threw a bitchslap, missed, and hit Will.
Will (nonchalant):Don't worry; I'll shove a pipe up your ass later.

Will:Oh no. I'm upset in the purely objective term.

Kevin:I'm a Quaker...but I also play Unreal.

Andy:You know spray paint? How it has the little ball inside and you shake it? Well, it's like that...only you don't shake it.
(...pause...)
Kit:Wow, Andy. That's my outlook on life.

Tommy, guest Professional Director:Weeeeeell, long-form is great and all, but Gah-lee! be fun every once in a while!

Tommy, guest Professional Director:Spinning...turning...acting like a...Catholic...FREEZE!

Matt:Robin, you're picking up bad habits!
Robin:Look! I met Ryan through Andy!

Kit (in sing-song):It's getting ANgry!
Gavin (in sing-song):It's making COFfee!

Sid:What an interesting combination...watch...and bottle-opener.
Ann Margaret:It's time...for drinkin'.

Dan, about Claire:I can't even find her hand; it's somewhere in my jacket.

Adam:I despise this tradition [of hot browning]. DramaTech is not the band. We are not a fraternity. We do not need to take their traditions.
Wes:You mean, like tutoring people?

David, Gavin, Dan, Matt, singing in unison:Making David feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable! Uncomfortable! Making David feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable! Uncomfortable!
David, after 10 or so rounds of this:Wait a minute... I'M DAVID!

Z, at his first improv workshop in preparation for the 2001 24 hour experiment: That oak tree killed my father!
Ryan, after Z had used that line in about 10 workshops after that: That's it. Oak trees are now Scatology...