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John Maynard
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John is a person who likes to say funny things. Unfortunately, he's only so-so at it, but he's getting better. Until such time as he can make others laugh profusely at will, he will continue to do it by accident using his unique talents such as:

An amazing ability to hurt himself through everyday activities. Hitting himself in the head with a bicycle on his way to class comes to mind.

An amazing ability to NOT hurt himself while doing remarkably stupid things. The exploding jar of super-heated water to the face comes to mind.

Can stop any conversation dead in it's tracks by uttering one simple prase or question that is so absolutely tangential that the discussion cannot possibly continue.

Wears a protective flannel that both keeps him warm and wards off the monsters in his closet.

Occasionally forgets what month it is.

If John could be anything in all of possibility, it would almost certainly be a cat with wings.
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