Matt Carroll
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Matthew Scott Carroll has been stolen! It has been reported that he is being held captive in Fitten Hall, room 306. We have yet to determine who lives there; it has been suspected that two young ladies named Katie and Lucy live there. Legend has it that these two damsels are known for their antics of throwing things out of their windows. Might the next object/projectile be Matt Carroll???
Only time will tell....
If you don't want Matt to be thrown out of the window...
The ransom for said man is:
2 oreo cookies, 5 potato chips, 3 plastic spoons, Jaleel White, a carton of chocolate milk, a manatee, 13 marshmallows, 11 copies of this week's Weekly World News....oh yeah...and a million dollars.
