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deciding on a team name

What's in a Name: A Guide to Defining Your Team's Identity


IMPORTANT: A good team name that has just come to our attention is Robot House (as in the quote "Rooooobot Hoooooouse!"). We HIGHLY RECOMMEND that some group use this name.


There are many misconceptions thrown around these days on what makes a good team. Some foolishly believe that hard work, dedication, and communication form the foundation of a great team; however, our experience has revealed that to ensure a successful project, a team MUST have an exceptional name. Here, we will reveal to you our exclusive and unique methodology for resolving the quandary that is team name creation.

For our group, this intensive process started months in advance. Indeed, we decided a long time ago that we wanted to have a finalized team name before the semester even began. Being Americans (well, one American, one Canadian, and one Australian), we naturally favored a democratic process in choosing the name. Therefore, we set up a team webpage where the members could submit candidate names and vote on the ones they liked best. Here is a sample of the final tally; feel free to use any of these names for your own group (except, of course, the Van Buren Boys).



Over 150 years after serving as President of the United States, Martin Van Buren was elected a second term in public office, this time in the more prestigious position of serving as our team mascot. Now, some of you may be wondering why we chose MVB as our team's spiritual leader. To this we would answer, why not? Would you rather we had chosen a name like "The Back Row Kids", or "Go Red Sox", or "Team Without a Name"? (Any resemblance between the hypothetical names just mentioned and actual team names used this semester is entirely coincidental.) We didn't think so. MVB was one of the toughest, most mean-spirited historical figures in our nation's great history. He saved the country from Andrew Jackson's misguided decisions, single-handedly brought on the Panic of 1837, and we have reason to believe he once killed a man with his bare hands. Clearly, here is a man to be both feared and respected, much like our group.

To go along with a great team name, every noteworthy group has had a great slogan. Our team was no different. Armed with the nearly infinite fountain of wisdom that is Cosmo Kramer, we had no trouble manipulating his words to create our own slogan: "We're just as mean as he was." This serves to reinforce the fact that MVB, being the great leader that he was, could and would have broken anyone who got in his way without hesitation. By choosing an intimidating slogan, we were able to scare away groups from asking us for help or trying to steal our code. We learned that in this class, the power to strike fear into the hearts of other groups is a valuable asset because it decreases their grades while increasing ours. Also, the art of the stink-eye and the screw-eye are among your most potent weapons for guarding seats in the States cluster and should be used relentlessly.

In conclusion, the single most important factor in determining the outcome of your group's performance and deterring failure in your project is the satisfactory selection of a crescent-fresh team name.

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