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Chelsea Morrisey

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Nothing like poking fun at UGA:

U[sic]GA Football Player's Fate

It was the end of the semester. Jeff was the star player on the U[sic]GA football team. He was failing every class he was taking. In order for him to play on the team in the fall, he had to pass only one of his classes. Well, the closest he was to passing was his poultry science class, with a 45. The coach talked to his prof and the prof decided to give Jeff a special final because athletes deserve special "priveledges"(sic).

The final would be as follows: Jeff would sit in a chair in the middle of the football field. The student body would gather to cheer him on. He would be asked one simple math question, and if he answered it correctly, he would get a D in his poultry science class. But, if he answered incorrectly, he would be dropped from the team. (gasp)

Jeff was extremely nervous about the final. He sat in the middle of the field and listened to the announcer on the loudspeaker.

"Welcome, fellow dawgs, to Jeff's final. All of y'all can cheer him on now," the booming voice declared. At that moment, all the smelly pigs, oops I mean the U[sic]GA cheerleaders, and all the criminals, oops I mean the student body, stood up and cheered for Jeff.

The question was read over the loudspeaker. There was a hush over the crowd.

"Jeff," the announcer said, "for your spot on the football team- What is two plus two?"

Jeff hit his forehead in disbelief. His first grade teacher told him that was the classic math question on finals at U[sic]GA, but he didn't believe her at the time. He thought long and hard.

Still unsure of his answer, Jeff answered the question. "Um... four?" Jeff said softly.

The crowd started throwing beer bottles and flasks onto the field in anger.

>The crowd shouted, "Aw come on!! Give him another chance!!"

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