| Name | Hotness Factor | Utopian Island Eligibility |
| Me | Really Ridiculously Good-Looking | The REMOVEDader |
| My CS TA Jose | Even MORE Ridiculously Good-Looking | Invited, but no computers allowed |
| Christine | SO Hot | Approved! |
| Vijay | THINKS he's really hot... | I'll think about it |
| Ally | The Hottest EVER | The Co-REMOVEDader |
| Matt Trinetti | Looks like a Fratty | Only if he lets us call him "Fratty Matty" |
| SJ | not so hot | Don't hold your breath |
| CA, Editor of Shaft News | He has that sexy mystery thing going | This guy is so in he gets his own totem pole! |