Blondieblue's evaluation of TBFrosty44
I felt that you did a very good job introducing statistics; however, you did not have any factual basis to back them up. Like maybe a quote from a certain website or something of that sort. I thought that you had a few ideas, but should probably find a few more to make your point of view seem more relevant. Also, expand a little more on your ideas, instead of just saying how they are benefited, tell how the benefits were made, if that makes sense. You told a good bit about the background of Title IX, which is good, but when you begin to finish writing, I think that you have plenty of the facts about Title IX, and do not need to add any more. Overall, I felt that this was a good rough draft. You just need a little more factual based evidence and some revision.
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