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Evaluation of stellar205's Draft by Hybrido

This draft is very well done. It shows some that some good research has been put in and that the argument has been thought out for more than a moment. I noticed a few issues nonetheless. The last sentence of the first paragraph is way too long; its meaning gets lost because of its extreme length. Also, the body of the paper does not get to the topics mentioned in this sentence for several paragraphs afterwards, so it would be better to scrap this "signposting" sentence. The replacement "objective" statement should be more generalized, allowing the paper to fill in the details, as opposed to it being an abstract of a small part of the paper. Such development leads to a paper with significantly more impact, as understanding is brought progressively, instead of immediate introduction and later explanation.

There was one more issue I had with the paper overall. Some of the evidence used to support the stance of this paper are point instances. The paper does a good job of bringing these together into a cohesive argument, but they could be grouped better.


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